We want to thank you for all your love and support through the most difficult time in our lives. We are still trying to comprehend how quickly and unexpectedly Rose left us. It is devastating but we are doing the best we can to get through each and every day without her. We certainly feel the love and support from our family and friends and know how much Rose meant to you by the outpouring of support we received.
Now that the holiday season is upon us, it brings along such a deep grief as we struggle to comprehend that Rose is no longer here to celebrate with us. It is just the beginning of the year of firsts. We can’t help but weep as we recall happier times and even the not-so-happy times. Just last year we got to spend a few bonus days together as Rose’s return flight to Florida was cancelled due to one of the many big snowstorms we had. How different it is this year – we don’t have any snow and we don’t have Rose here with us.
Right now the whole world is celebrating while holiday memories flood us and make our grief cut into us even deeper. As we turned our calendars to the month of December we see Rose’s flight information there as she was scheduled to be here on December 21st for her usual Christmas visit. Never in a million years did we think last Christmas would be our last Christmas together.
We all have a list of time-honored holiday traditions. These traditions are part of who we are and how we share our happiness with the people we love. Now one of the people we love is gone. How can we possibly celebrate? How are we supposed to fake feeling festive when we miss her so much?
December may be “the most wonderful time of the year,” but it can also be the most painful. There is a profound difference between the external trappings of the season and the way we feel inside. What once delighted us now feels empty and we cringe at all the hoopla. Doesn't anyone know how much we hurt? The gaiety surrounds us and accentuates our feelings of loss.
We have not yet adjusted to life without Rose. The ache of her absence envelops us like fog even as we try so hard to be cheerful. It is expected that we be in good spirits during the month of December but we cannot always pretend to be cheerful when our loss is still so fresh. Even though the calendar dictates it, we do not feel jolly or festive.
We know that the holiday blues are a normal part of grief. Unspoken gloom hovers over all attempts to celebrate. It is a process and we know no matter how much time passes we will always miss her, every single day, and somehow even more on the holidays.
We have had some good days and really, really bad days, but the thing that keeps us going is trying to do what she would want, which is to be happy and keep smiling. If she knew we were sad it would upset her so we are doing our best to make her happy. The holidays remind us of how much Rose enriched and touched our lives in a way that made us who we are, and it reminds us to be thankful for all the memories we will always cherish. Just because she is no longer physically next to us, she will always be a part of us and our connection will continue to grow, maybe even in a deeper way.
As you gather with your family and friends this holiday season, we hope that you take a moment to show your love and appreciation for all of your loved ones because you never know how many more opportunities you will get to celebrate together.
Thank you again for your love and support and please take a moment to raise a glass of holiday cheer in honor of Rose.
Blessings to you and all your loved ones,
~Michelle & Bill and Jim & Dan
XO
